So your back from out of space ...

So I know it probably feels like I've been away for an eternity and I suppose in the blogging world I have been, but a lot has changed since my previous posts! 

I don't think I mentioned in prior posts but I suffer big time with anxiety & panic attacks! I have been fighting a massive battle with myself mainly since the diagnosis of Mrs Rightys kidney tumour! Things got to much and I began to loose the battle. Swamped with anxiety daily meant life became a robotic notion instead of the meaningful experience it is meant to be! Hence the reason I haven't blogged in such a long time. Since my last post I have been under the knife to have Mrs Rightys tumour removed! I put so much pressure on myself and allowed the anxiety to dictate to me how awful and horrific the operation would be even allowing it to tell me I wouldn't pull threw it! Putting my 2year old son to bed the evening before my surgery just a short time after seeing him threw his 2nd birthday and believing to myself that I may never see him again is the most heartbreaking thing I have ever done & can never explain how much of a tough time I have been threw (get the violins out ai LOL) However on a positive (yep I can still muster up some good out of this) i have now had the tumour (or Geoffrey as it was known in my house) removed and can now proudly say I HAVE BEATEN THE CANCER!! I thought getting the news that the cancer was all gone and it hadn't spread would mean me snapping back to normal and kicking anxiety out the door, however I haven't been so lucky and the twisted mix of emotions means I am still battling anxiety daily but this time i will not be loosing! I am determined to live a happy and healthy life and not let this horrid silent disease dictate the rest of my life. Expect to see regular happy random blogs from me :)  boy does it feel good to be blogging again!!